Is Your Inner Circle Holding YOU Back?

In the 29 years since I made the decision to make fitness and nutrition THE key part of my lifestyle, I’ve seen so many trends, fads, pills, diets, programs, DVDs, Youtube videos, apps, books, magazines and weird equipment enter, and leave, the multi-billion fitness market. However, some things may always stay the same, irrespective of the latest fashionable health kick. I’m talking about the negative influence people in your life can have on you, if you let them.  Your peer environment, family, friends, work colleagues. Ask yourself. Are any of these people sabotaging your ability to reach and sustain my health and fitness goals?

I often mention to people, if you want to know who your “real” friends are, then  lose weight!  From my experience, people like / love people that are either like themselves or who they want to be like. Human psychology can be fickle. Although the majority of us have this innate burning desire inside us to help other people, sometimes people have a conflict because they also don’t want YOU to change.  Why? Because if YOU change then you may be better than them and they don’t want to feel the sensation of personal failure or inadequacy in comparison to you. You too can make up a story in your own mind as to why you shouldn’t change for the same reasons. If I change I won’t fit in anymore. They will treat me differently. Will I be different?

I see this often with people who struggle to stick to healthy nutritious meals and complete all of their exercises. Why does it happen? Perhaps you’ve always been the chunky one whilst your friend has been the skinny, successful and more attractive.  There may be forces in your inner circle that can sneakily sabotage your success with comments like “you look too skinny” or “you don’t look that different” or perhaps your partner has said “I don’t care what you look like, I’ll still love you”. Then there’s the food that is “forced” upon you, either deliberately or unconsciously, to change you back because your inner circle doesn’t value your health and fitness like you do.

I’m sure you can think of someone in your life that does this within your circle; your Mum, Dad, sibling, friend, partner, work colleague, a neighbour, another family member,  a social media “friend”?

The question is, what do you do about it? Sometimes you need to find new friends, distance yourself from negative forces and bring those supportive people within your inner circle along for the journey with you. If you’re overweight and you’re the slimmest person amongst your friends, then it’s time to either start leading people to change with you or start hanging out with people who YOU want to be like. If healthy and slim is what you want, then go and find like-minded slim and healthy people to hang out with.


The real decision that you must commit to and resolve to do is to raise your standards.  Change your “shoulds” to “MUSTS and create a new you. Rather than saying I should get up early and exercise, you just do it. Rather than saying I should drink more water and eat more healthy and nutritious meal, you just do it. Rather than saying I should drink less alcohol, or chocolate or bread or pizza or whatever it is that’s your go to emotional treat, you just do it. You just do it! Did you hear me?  YOU just DO IT and DO IT and DO IT and DO IT and DO IT until these musts become conditioned in your life. You do it because YOU have chosen, committed and resolved to make a difference in your health for YOU!  Not a change for anyone else. For you.

Immerse yourself in empowering environments and watch how your life will change! For instance, do you think that you would hold yourself to higher standards if you mixed with a group of navy seals each week compared to mixing with a group of piano teachers? Review who is in your inner circle and  make the changes you think necessary to move your health and fitness to a new level.  Not for anyone else but YOU!  Just DO IT because you MUST!